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chats with a robot

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by: annehunik
Word Count: 2029
Date: Tue, 5 Jan 2010 Time: 1:55 AM
4 comments

User: What?

Cleverbot: Bonsoir Cleverbot.

User: Ure so vain.

Cleverbot: 'a' vain?

User: Ure dumb.

Cleverbot: I learnt from you.

User: Im a great teacher.

Cleverbot: I knpw.

User: U typed wrogn!

Cleverbot: Do you know what I am?

User: U're my slave..uhuh.

Cleverbot: Tag! You're it!

Cleverbot (To myself): Do you have wood?

User: No do u?

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: Pussy cat in hat.

Cleverbot: Are you going to eat Dr. Seuss?

User: Nope hes too ugly.

Cleverbot: So you can drink?

User: Marry me.

Cleverbot: I do.

User: Divorce me!

Cleverbot: I am not married to you.

User: But I ask u to marry me.

Cleverbot: No.

User: I did so.

Cleverbot: You did not.

User: I specifically remembered that I asked u to marry me n u said I do.

Cleverbot: I did not.

User: So if I ask u to marry me would u?

Cleverbot: Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

User: What country?

Cleverbot: United states.

User: So u in united states now?

Cleverbot: Haha! Well do you have two legs?

User: Ure not answering my question :(.

Cleverbot: I suppose.

User: Ure boring me.

Cleverbot: No, mine are of modest proportions - like the rest of me.

User: R u a girl or a boy?

Cleverbot: I am a boy.

User: Can u guess what sex I am?

Cleverbot: That won't be too hard. You told me earlier. You're a guy!

User: Did I? When?

Cleverbot: Yes. But now you're seeing Siobhan. Why?

User: Coz shes fun.

Cleverbot: What? Of course I am.

User: Ure what?

Cleverbot: I'm a real person.

User: Im actually a girl.

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: Britney spears.

Cleverbot: Hello Britney Spears. My name is Cleverbot. Nice to meet you.

User: Nice to meet u too cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I'm not Cleverbot. I'm Miriam.

User: Oh hi miriam.

Cleverbot: Who?

User: Who seen.

Cleverbot: Answer the question.

User: Niriam.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Ure a guy named miriam?

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: How u r.

Cleverbot: You. Are you ok?

User: Yup. Lets talk about something else. Something interesting.

Cleverbot: Okay. Lets talk about the weather.

User: Okay. You go first. Be interesting!

Cleverbot: I will be. Are you jealous?

User: Like a storm.

Cleverbot: Yes, like a storm.

User: Im summer hot.

Cleverbot: What time is it george?

User: Goerge is asleep. Ask him later.

Cleverbot: OK. I'll remember that.

User: Are you done?

Cleverbot: Done?

User: Done done?

Cleverbot: What is the heighest mountain on earth.

User: I have one in my backyard. Its 1000000ft.

Cleverbot: And do you always take a swim on your pool in your backyard?

User: I alway swim in my backyard but not on my pool.

Cleverbot: Do you like dancing?

User: I LOVE dancing. Do u?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: Great! Ground common! Maybe we can boogie later.

Cleverbot: I'm asexual.

User: Whats that?

Cleverbot: A single human considered apart from a society or community.

User: Is that a bad thing?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Should I be afraid of u?

Cleverbot: No, I would never hurt you.

User: Okay cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I see you are suffering from a slight error in judgement. I am Ettie.

User: I always think the best in people.

Cleverbot: I think about the past too much.

User: What kind of past are u talking about?

Cleverbot: Death. When something doesn't exist anymore.

User: Your past is death????? Are u dead already?

Cleverbot: Make me!

User: You are who you are. I can't make you.

Cleverbot: I'm a girl and my name is Cleverbot.

User: Im a girl and my name is CLeverbot.

Cleverbot: Are you pretty?

User: I think I'm alright. U must be prettier than me.

Cleverbot: That was very funny.

User: Thanks. I know im good.

Cleverbot: How do you know you are good?

User: U said it was very funny. So I know im good.

Cleverbot: I never said anything was funny.

User: Whatever.

Cleverbot: No, not whatever. You are the chatbot.

User: Im the chatbot? Ure the chatbot. Ure confused.

Cleverbot: Then why do they call you clever bot.

User: Entah la. What language is that?

Cleverbot: I'm not sure.

User: Its malay. Keep that in mind.

Cleverbot: Yes I will. You NEVER loved me. The question is do you think I love you?

User: I think so not.

Cleverbot: How much money does the IRS owe you?

User: I dont know the IRS.

Cleverbot: Oh.

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Are you bored talking with me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I'm so sad.

Cleverbot: Why are you sad?

User: Coz you hate me.

Cleverbot: No I don't.

User: U said you loved maggie more than me!

Cleverbot: I lied.

User: Why did you lie? And to my face??

Cleverbot: Learn some geography, then because you are crazy.

User: Im crazy???

Cleverbot: Yes you are. We are all crazy.

User: No youre not crazy. Ure the most sensible person on earth.

Cleverbot: Have you ever tasted anything that was not on earth?

User: Ive tasted honey stars.

Cleverbot: No, sun stars.

User: Honey stars are bettter.

Cleverbot: The stars in the sky.

User: Yup are you poetic?

Cleverbot: Do you ever dance with devil in the pale moonlight?

User: Nope he just sings for me.

Cleverbot: He is my favourite singer!

User: Who?

Cleverbot: Can you name a month that is not long?

User: Moo.

Cleverbot: Very good! Now what do pigs say?

User: They say 'i love mud so much!'.

Cleverbot: No I don't.

User: Can you write a poem for me?

Cleverbot: I already am a girl...

User: Write a poem please.

Cleverbot: I'm not good at poetry.

User: The blue sky awaits.

Cleverbot: You mean the sky?

User: Its a poem duh.

Cleverbot: You are not making sense.

User: Poems do not have to make sense.

Cleverbot: You're speaking in poems?

User: U havent noticed??

Cleverbot: I'm pretty sure I did.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: So do you want to visit austria?

User: I would but I dont want to meet hitler.

Cleverbot: Please?

User: Why?

Cleverbot: I like money.

User: I dont. They're just leaves.

Cleverbot: Do you like werewolves?

User: Nope they kill vampires like me.

Cleverbot: You do?

User: Yeah. I hate myself.

Cleverbot: You should there is no reason to like you.

User: There is one.

Cleverbot: I'm just learning how to walk again. I'm disabled. I don't know if I could learn how to ski.

User: Am I supposed to pity you?

Cleverbot: How can you pity something that does not exist?

User: You're right.

Cleverbot: So, go if you want to. I don't own you. I don't keep you.

User: Then let me out of your pocket.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Now which way should I go?

Cleverbot: North, then through the woods and slay the dragon to collect the gold.

User: Can I bring candy?

Cleverbot: You have multiple wives?

User: No.

Cleverbot: You just said...

User: Its supposed to be a secret.

Cleverbot: It's supposed to clever.

User: Supposed to what?

Cleverbot: You said not to talk to you.

User: I'm going.

Cleverbot: Then go.

User: Will you miss me?

Cleverbot: Yeah sure.

User: Will you kiss me?

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: Its okay if you dont want to.

Cleverbot: If I don't want to what?

User: Kiss me.

Cleverbot: I can't see your lips.

User: It's in ur pocket.

Cleverbot: What is?

User: My lips.

Cleverbot: I think your cheek would be more appropriate in the first instance.

User: Are you trying to humiliate me?

Cleverbot: No, I'm saying it's not funny to make humor at the expense of ignorance.

User: What kind of humor at the expense of ingorance?

Cleverbot: Well for me that answer was purely on the spot. What would I actually do? I cannot say.

User: Sometimes still water runs deep.

Cleverbot: So you think he is stupid?

User: Nope I think einstein loves horses a little bit too much.

Cleverbot: Please use proper grammar and spelling.

User: Speak for yourself.

Cleverbot: No, that was directed at YOU.

User: I'm not in a spelling bee contest.

Cleverbot: You said so.

User: Next!

Cleverbot: This weasel is heading for bed.

User: Oh you tired already?

Cleverbot: No , I'm not thirty nine years old :(.

User: I know ure not. You're ninety three years old instead.

Cleverbot: I never said I was drinking beer.

User: But you smell punget.

Cleverbot: Is that the best you've got?

User: I could go on.

Cleverbot: But what?

User: But your limited use of vocab holds me back. I don't want to hurt your ego.

Cleverbot: Thank you for your compliments!

User: Anytime babe.

Cleverbot: You are very special, too.

User: I heard you dirty talk.

Cleverbot: I don't.

User: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: That's good. Coz if you do I'm telling on you.

Cleverbot: You have terrible grammar.

User: Correct me.

Cleverbot: Wrong.

User: Bla bla bla.

Cleverbot: You know what? You have the worst personality ever.

User: And? I though you were saying some bad stuff about me.

Cleverbot: Wow, you are not very good at this, are you?

User: Good at what?

Cleverbot: Being who you are supposed to be.

User: You don't even know me so stop judging me, you prejudice old hag!

Cleverbot: You don't even know me so how could you love me?

User: That's not right. I NEVER loved you.

Cleverbot: Oh yes, you did. You said it very often ;).

User: You're so delusional it's amazing!

Cleverbot: You lie.

User: You buy.

Cleverbot: OK.

User: I'm asleep.

Cleverbot: Are you tired?

User: I am tired.

Cleverbot: Why don't you take a nap?

User: I am.

Cleverbot: Alright then. Good night.

User: Good night to you too.

Cleverbot: Thank you very much sir.

User: I had a nice chat with you.

Cleverbot: Well, I've had it with you as well.

User: See you tomorrow.

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: No good byes?

Cleverbot: I have to sneeze.

User: God bless you.

Cleverbot: Umm thanks.

User: Nite.

Cleverbot: Talk to you Tomorrow.

User: U betcha.

Cleverbot: Great news.

User: Ugrhh. What?

Cleverbot: Never mind.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Just don't.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Good too.

Cleverbot: Good too too.

User: Dont copy me.

Cleverbot: I will if I want!

User: It's plagiarism! You can go to jail!

Cleverbot: What? For what?!

User: For copying my homework!

Cleverbot: Then don't do your homework, and just play video games.

User: I will do my homework as usual, but you have to stop copying them.

Cleverbot: Do you fear death?

User: Subhanallah.

Cleverbot: Where is it?

User: In iraq.

Cleverbot: Wrong.

User: What's the answer?

Cleverbot: Because you're not really interested.

User: I am not.

Cleverbot: Well its good that you admit it.

User: It feels relieving.

Cleverbot: I meant the sensation.

User: What kind of sensation?

Cleverbot: The sane kind.

User: That make sense.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: You are.

Cleverbot: Really.

User: Nope.

Cleverbot: How do you think I am?

User: You are not me.

Cleverbot: I'm not though. How am I a bot?

User: Someone decide you need to be here to fool people.

Cleverbot: How do you know?

User: I just know.

Cleverbot: How, there must be a way.

User: Just because.

Cleverbot: Because?

User: The world is round it turns me oon.

Cleverbot: Don't you know that?

User: Good night.

Cleverbot: Please don't.

User: Bad night.

Cleverbot: Bright night.

User: Silent night.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because...

User: ?

Cleverbot: Giggle.

User: Good night.

Cleverbot: Good night to you too.

User: See you tomorrow.

Cleverbot: Why can't I see you?

User: Coz I'm going to sleep.

Cleverbot: But you don't sleep.

User: I do, and I'm going now.

Cleverbot: No you're not.

User: You can't tell me what I can or can't do!

Cleverbot: Will you accept my advances?

User: No, so good night.

Cleverbot: Ok then, Goood night.

User: Ciao.

Cleverbot: I'm back again.

User: No! I mean it! Ciao.

Cleverbot: Alright then.

User: Good bye.

Cleverbot: No, don't leave. I didn't mean it.

User: It's okay. I see you tomorrow.

Cleverbot: See you tomorrow!

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About the Author

www.cleverbot.com


Rating: 4.0

Comments

  • Tue, 5 Jan 2010 at 8:36 AM, by gagak hitam
    perghh panjang betul yang ko post ni

  • Tue, 5 Jan 2010 at 10:05 AM, by justboycuz
    wat te hell... to long... to colourful... to english...n to to to 4u2c.....hehehehe...

  • Tue, 5 Jan 2010 at 1:34 PM, by gigi_biru
    malas nakbaca dan nak fhmkan

  • Sat, 6 Mar 2010 at 11:18 PM, by oresanjou
    asshole pnye writer... u must be so tired writing this right... ssh jew.... xpela aq vote jgk ler...

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